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Amnesia 9
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Amnesia - Issue 09 (1993-02-01)(Eclipse)(Disk 2 of 2).adf
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ARTICLES
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DanielLives
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1993-01-31
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64 lines
around Tallaght as binmen, bus
conductors and shopkeepers in The
Square.Top Danielologists now believe
that Daniel faked his death in order
to avoid incoming law suits alleging
that his music was Satanic and
contained subliminal messages
inciting suicide. The families of two
eighty three year old pensioners who
died only two days after listening to
Daniel O' Donnell's controvesial
"Don't Forget to Remember" album were
Daniel Lives! about to sue for nine million billion
By: Arc/Eclipse pounds. The Sunday World 's technical
engineers proved that the album, when
Daniel O'Donnell, the extreme death played backwards, slowly, whilst in a
metal singer, who was thought to have bucket of dolphin infested tomato
died from a massive junior asprin puree, in zero gravity, contained the
overdose, is now thought to be alive satanic message "I really love my
and living in Kilnamanagh. He was mammy". This is believed to refer to
sighted by Nigel Shadpherson, the teachings of a satanic cult, that
renowned dead rock star spotter. He Satan is the supreme mammy of all
has already spotted Elvis, Jim living things, and that you should
Morrison and John Lennon, all working perform the ultimate sacrifice and
commit suicide. Daniel O' Donnell's and Johnny Logan?
music has already been banned in (Recent Eurovision Winners?")
several states of America due to
campaigning by the PMRC (Parent's Gore:"Yes,we propose to have this re-
Music Resource Centre) who have also cord banned. It personifies the evil
campaigned to have albums by other, we're trying to stamp out.
less offensive bands, like Napalm
Death, Megadeth, Slayer and the Sunday World:"Hmm.. What music do you
extremely sexist rap band 2 Live listen to yourself?"
Crew. The Sunday World has an
exclusive interview with Tipper Gore, Gore: "Well, I like such hits as
head of the PMRC: "America the Beautiful", "Hail to the
Chief", and my personal favourite,The
Sunday World: "Well, Mrs. Gore, what Star Spangled Banner.This is the sort
music do you wish to have banned?" of music the young people should be
listening to."
Gore: "Quite frankly, every song
written after 1962. Before that we Sunday World:"Mrs Gore, do you have
had Elvis, and that was just about as any children?"
far as possibly morally acceptable.
Now such artists as Cliff Richard,and Gore:"Lord, no. I wouldn't have the
Chris de Burgh have to be looked at." time."
Sunday World:"What about Linda Martin Sunday World:"Well,there you have it.
Tipper Gore,thank you."
Meanwhile, a reward of two hundred
pounds and an autographed Gay Byrne
T-Shirt is being offered by Mullingar
convent to anyone who can provide in-
formation concerning the whereabouts
of Daniel O'Donnell.
Clipart by : ARC/ECLIPSE
Article by : ARC/ECLIPSE
(Gazzer: This Guy does everything!!)